The Adventures of Ani and Nyl
by Mistress-chan
Summary: So one minute, we're jamming along to good music, and the next we're falling through the sky, and now we've got people we've always admired fighting over us. Every fangirl's dream, right? Not entirely. Apparently my best friend is an imposter and I'm Akatsuki's whore. Perfect. Can someone tell us how to get home? (Two OC, self-insert, best-friend-insert. M for language.)
1. Falling

First, we were driving.

Then we were falling.

It was sudden- I mean, would you really expect to randomly be freefalling, when moments before, you were strapped into a car? No? I thought so.

Brooklyn's long fingers clasped around mine, and I fought against the wind to look up at her. She looked just as freaked as I felt. A sting panged on my right shoulder, and I fought the urge to scratch it. I felt tears flood my eyes, and I closed them, so I wouldn't have to watch the ground quickly approaching.

I expected defening pain, I braced myself. Nothing happened. Just as quickly as we had been falling, we had stopped. I rested on bright green grass- in maybe a forest, with really, really tall trees.

My hand still held on to my best friend's, who held nothing but confusion in her large Hazel eyes. "Christina," she breathed out, tightening her fingers around mine. "Where is my car?"

I could feel myself sweat-drop, which was weird. "Are you serious? We fall from the sky and you're worried about your car?"

"She is very important to me."

I sigh, rolling my eyes in a way I picked up from the tall brunette. "We'll find it, okay? Can you get up? Are you hurt?"

"Jimeneeze, yes. I'm totally okay!" She pulled herself up from the damp grass and adjusted her outfit- a Sakura Haruno costume she had bought for Halloween. I also stood and brushed off the dirt from my black cloak- I was sexy female Harry Potter, wearing a short dress and tall leopard print heels, paired with a short Gryffindor cloak I had borrowed.

"Good, the most damage I've got here is broken glasses." I sighed. There goes seeing long distances.

So after checking our inventory- which amounted to Brooklyn's wallet, her iPhone, my school backpack, my phone, a pair of sunglasses (they were promptly snatched and perched atop Brooklyn's nose), and my hairbrush- we started walking through the tall trees. Eventually, we came across a dirt road. "We should follow it," Brooklyn chirped, gripping my wrist and pulling me down the road.

"What if it leads to nowhere... Or worse- somewhere?"

She shrugged, "Take a risk." With her other hand, she reached up and adjusted her bubblegum pink wig.

* * *

So after twenty minutes of hobbling behind her in six-inch heels, I took them off and shoved them into my backpack. Then we continued on. Eventually, we started seeing more and more people, citizens who regarded Brooklyn with a nod, and me with confusion.

I shrugged the cloak off and took the heels out of my bag, replacing them with the cloak and the tie from around my neck. "Now they'll just think I'm a prostitute."

"Oh, shush," Brooklyn swatted at my arm and smiled. "We can ask where we are, since there are people."

I didn't want to talk to them, so I made her confront an old man with a wagon.

I listened as she politely approached and asked for "directions to the nearest city jail". The man nodded his head forward.

"Konoha, ma'am. You should know that."

We both shared a look. This was bizarre. After the man had bid her a good day, and left a lingering look in my direction, she locked her eyes with mine and bit her lip.

"Maybe we're just in a really weird backwoods podunk town that's obsessed with anime. Any moment and we'll see a Lucy cosplayer and someone dragging around a Kon plushie."

She rolled her eyes. "If anything, you'd be the Lucy cosplayer. You'd be the only one that could with those boobs of yours."

I rolled my eyes and kept trudging forward. "That old ass should have given us a ride, we're ladies."

Brooklyn opened her mouth to speak, but cut herself off with, "Dude, fucking look at that." I followed her raised finger to a sign that read, "Konoha, 15 KM."

I locked eyes with her again and I sighed. "15 kilometers. What the fuck." I threw my hands into the air and plopped onto the ground, refusing to walk another inch in these heels.

Brooklyn sat with me for a few minutes before standing up and tanking me along with her. "Come on, it won't be that bad. Nothing will go wrong, we're in a public place. They all respect my total nerdiness, and they think you're a slut. Worse case scenario, you get raped and I get elected as Need Queen."

I sighed. "Whatever. Okay. Fine. But I'm going to break something if I don't get some goddamned water."

We continued walking in silence for another fifteen minutes, when there was a soft 'swoosh' behind us.

We whipped around in curiosity, and met with a pair of cerulean orbs, glaring in malice and ill-intent.

"Grab Haruno, leave the other. Don't kill her, don't maim her, we want someone to tell Konoha what we've done." A gruff voice beside him grunted, "If you must, you may knock her out."

Brook snatched my hand up and we began sprinting in the other direction, my heels breaking as I ran as fast as I could, trying to keep my short, stubby legs matched in pace with Brooklyn's long legs, but I was failing fast.

We dove into the woods, running under branches and vines, behind trees and even through a small stream, and then finally we collapsed in the base of a large tree, hollowed out by nature and animals. We were panting for air, trying to silence our breathing by covering our mouths with our hands.

After a minute, I looked at her. "They think you're her. They think you're Sakura Haruno. What the fuck are we going to do? What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?"

She silenced me. "Shh, they'll hear you."

I shook my head, "They're after you, you need to keep running."

"No, I'm not leaving you-"

A twig snapped. My heart raced.

"B-"

" _Shh_."

She wrapped her hand around mine and looked at me, trying to be brave. She was cracking. I pointed up. We started climbing the inside of the tree, clinging to rough ledges and slippery wood, our hands still clasped together.

Suddenly, my grip on Brooklyn's hand was gone and she was gone.

There was an explosion.

There was mad laughter.

I was falling again.

And then there was black.


	2. SERIOUSLY, WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

**AN AT BOTTOM, PLEASE READ AFTER ENJOYING YOURSELF.**

When I woke up, I was curled in the bottom of the big tree. Brooklyn was gone and it was dark.

After searching for a good hour, I trekked back to the stream. It wasn't very wide, and it didn't flow very fast, but it was water. And I needed water.

I dunked my entire head in, then lifted a cupped handful to my mouth, drinking the cool water down my parched throat.

My head was filled with anger, confusion, and hunger. Eventually, I found my way back to the dirt road, and continued walking down the road.

I looked horrible, I was sure, with sloppy wet hair, broken heels, and a thin cloak wrapped around me.

Eventually, I sank to my knees in the dirt and let myself cry. Brooklyn was gone, I was alone in a strange world I didn't completely understand, and nobody was here to console me.

"Hey!" An overly chipper voice cut into my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

I didn't even look up at the person, "I'm totally fine, kid. Leave me alone."

"You're crying, though! And I don't think you know this, but your shoes are broken. Bet that hurts, huh? Hey, I'll help you, are you going to Konoha? Do you want me to carry you?"

I finally snapped my head up, "Leave me alone, okay? I'm fine- holy smokes."

Standing before me in all of his golden fucking glory was Naruto Uzumaki. Circled around him were at least half of the rookie nine.

I think I passed out.

This time, when I woke up, I was aware of being carried.

"Dude, be careful." I grunted, adjusting my chin on a black clad shoulder.

"Well, strange female, it doesn't help me any that you weigh more than you look like your should." His voice was steely and insulting. I scoffed. Sai. Perfect.

"Okay, you pale ass, half-shirt wearing motherfucker, call me heavy again and you'll be catchin fists."

It was his turn to scoff, and then dump me unceremoniously on my behind.

"Rude," I mumbled, standing up and dusting myself off. "Though I must admit your cosplay is on point. You've even got the mannerisms down." I glanced around us, eyeing the group that was now curiously stopping and peering at me.

Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Sai, Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji were surrounding me. "Do you recognize her?" Ino peered at Shikamaru with big cornflower blue eyes. "Can you analyze her with that big ol' brain of yours?"

I bit my lip and looked at my hands. Her eyes made me think of _him._ Deidara.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Naruto's voice cut in, and then he was right in front of me, holding my hands in his. "Don't cry!"

I looked away, "Hey, kid, don't worry about me. My friend is gone, is all. And i don't know where I am."

I locked eyes with Sakura and swallowed. "She looks a bit like Anko," Sakura muttered, "A really skanky Anko."

A scoff rolled out of me before I could help myself. "Anko you're-" I cut myself off. "Sorry, no, I don't mean that. I don't want to insult you."

She looked at me with a weird look on her face, "Whatever. We need to take her to Tsunade-sama."

Before we did anything or met anyone, I was going to make myself look nice-ish. "Where's my bag?"

Kiba tossed it onto my lap and I started digging through it. It was disorganized, but everything was there.

Well, mostly everything. I shot him a glare and started to stand up, "you dirty fucking pervert."

He flushed, but smirked. "Eh? I don't know what you mean, Girl-chan."

I glowered, "Give me back my... thing."

"What's missing?" Naruto asked, naively.

I flushed and locked eyes with the dog-nin. "I think people older than you deserve a better honorific, boy-chan."

"You look like you're fifteen," Sai shot.

I glared at him and then looked down at my own body. "Do these-" I motioned to my breasts, "look like they belong on a fifteen year old?"

"Well, Hinata-chan's are pretty big, and she's only 16." Naruto smiled, patting Hinata on the head. She flushed and- of course- fainted.

"I'm 18. An adult. I even got a tattoo, it's pretty cool. Except my artist totally messed up and-" I paused in removing my cloak as a tight hand clamped around my shoulder.

"Aren't too sweet of a girl to be a member of Akatsuki?"

"Huh?"

And once again, the world was black.

 **A/N: Hi! I know I have a lot of unfinished stories, but I want to work on this one I've had floating around my head for some time. I have a small fragment of internet access through my phone, which is how I'll be uploading new chapters. I want to get to at least 5 before I start worrying about whether or not I'll get reveiws, because they really do make me want to write more. Gives my writing some worth.**

 **Anyways, this particular story starts on the day before Hallowween, and the main characters are me and my best friend, who end up dimension jumping, and yes, I was dressed as a skanky HP, and she was Sakura. Fun, right? Not. Those heels hurt like hell.**

 **Oh, i almost forgot: I, Mistress-chan, do not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters or symbols affiliated with Naruto. They are used in a ficticious manner, as all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto, our one true God.**

 **(Until you talk to Hidan, and he sacrifices you in the name of Jashin.)**

 **Also, to the Guest Reviewer from chapter one: I will be using Naruto, Sakura, the Bijuu, AND Akatsuki, as seeing as how your review was very unclear, I assumeyou meant the character tags. The other characters have yet to come into use (well, just the Bijuu/Jinchuuriki) so I did not tag the OCs, because I felt that although this is told from a first person POV of one of the OCs, the story will be telling more about the other characters, not mine. Though I thank you for your review! Maybe next time just tell me how it was? Thanks again!**

 **I'm also really really sorry about how short the chapters are now, I just think that those are good places to leave off until the story actually kicks off. I'm also not planning on making this story very long, just 10-15 chapters at most. I thank you in advance for reading, and though you might not leave a review for me I still appreciate you!**


	3. Cell-time Blues

He grabbed me, Deidara, and tugged me onto his bird. No matter what Christina said, no matter what she thought, I knew this was real.

Like one of those fanfictions she's always reading. She thinks I don't notice, but she's always peering at her phone with those large, doe-y eyes.

She's kind of a nerd, but I love her. That's why I refused to leave her alone, but they genuinely thought I was Sakura and they definitely aren't going to kill me- because they need Sakura, and god damn it, I can be Sakura.

"Why are you doing this?" I barked, nudging the blonde with my foot.

I bet Christina was having a giant fit of jealousy knowing I'm with the Akatsuki, and she's- well, hopefully on her way to Konoha by now. She's a giant Akatsuki nerd, too. She's got the cloud tattooed on her right shoulder.

Deidara grunted something at me, and I nudged him again. "What was that, Blondie?"

"I said, quiet, before I rip out that pretty pink hair of yours."

I shut up real quick. I can fight, yeah, I always joke about fighting Christina, but my arms are so long, I can reach across and pop her one real quick. I also was afraid that they'd just slit my throat right there if they realized I wasn't really her.

So I bit my lip and sat back, watching as trees and dirt passed by, taking me further and further from my best friend.

Eventually, we came to a stop. A man in an orange swirly mask flagged us down, and we skidded to a halt in the middle of a field. Sasori tied a rope around my wrists, and they smacked a hand over my eyes, then led me into a dark, cool space.

The base.

After we were inside, they uncovered my eyes, so I could actually see the hallways and doors we passed, barely illuminated by the dim, flickering light of torches. Like Orochimaru's underground base. Pretty cool.

With a shove, I was through a doorway and on my knees in front of a pair of sandal-clad feet.

"We've brought Haruno."

The man before me grunted in a deep tone, "Good. She should be of use. Take her to a cell, for interrogation."

Fuck. I was going to know more than Sakura would, and they would find a way to get it out of me.

I eventually was locked in a tiny cell, Deidara smirking at me through the barred door. Prick.

Okay, so back home, Christina and I really like the show Naruto. She's more of a villain-lover, while I absolutely adore the Konoha ninja. I swear, if I had a chance, I would jump Kakashi's bones. I'm sure she'd do the same with Hidan.

Speaking of my super-short best-friend, I wondered what she was doing. She might be living it up in Konoha. She might have forgotten about me. She would knowexactly what to say to get the KOnoha ninja on her side- and I don't know. Maybe I'm freaking out too much. I curled into a ball in the far corner of the cell and closed my eyes, analyzing myself.

I was afraid. Afraid for Christina. Afraid for myself. Afraid of what was going to happen when they realzed who I really was- er, wasn't.

After sitting in the cell for what seemed like hours, it finally clanged open. Interrogation time.

Before me stood Itachi Uchiha, his sharingan eyes blazing. "Haruno," he murmured, his voice was silk compared to Sasori's rough tones and Deidara's annoying ticks.

"Uchiha," I replied, gritting my teeth. I wanted to hug him.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. It's up to you."

I forced a scoff, "What do you want?"

"We want to know about Naruto, your little blond jinchuriki."

"As if I'd give classified information to a traitor."

In a second, he was holding me by my neck against the wall. "Speak now, or I will forcefully take information from you."

I was losing air. I bit my lip. "U-Uzumaki Naruto, born 16 years ago during the 9-tails Attack on Konoha, rumored to be orchestrated by Madara Uchiha shortly before the old man died, born to Kushina Uzumaki and seal with the chakra demon that ended up killing his mother and father. As an orphan, he was shunned by all of the other kids, myself included."

He loosened his grip, "Go on."

"No offense, Uchiha, but shouldn't you know this already?"

"Go. On."

I bit my lip again, "Eventually enrolled in the academy and barely graduated, then placed on a genin team with Uchiha Sasuke and myself, though he was still the weaker of us three, until he started training under the sage Jiraiya. Now, he has just returned from his training and has a goal to bring Sasuke Uchiha back from Orochimaru's grip."

"That's all?" Itachi narrowed his eyes at me and tightened his grip. I nodded shakily, or at least tried to.

"The Shinobis and Kunoichis of Konoha will protect Uzumaki Naruto no matter what."

He scoffed, "As if." and then dropped me. As he turned around and left the cell, my hands flew up to my bruising neck.

"I don't know who you are, kid, but Deidara and Sasori are idiotic to truly believe you're Haruno Sakura. If they think you're her, then Konoha could be easily fooled as well."

I swallowed, my throat burning. "Goodbye, Uchiha."

Maybe I should feel bad about telling them that information, but I'm a third party. I'm impartial. If Konoha had asked about Akatsuki, I would have given them information as well.

Whoops.

C POV

I was tossed- literally tossed, as if I was a goddamned sack of goddamned potatoes- into the cell, unceremoniously thrown into the hard wall.

I didn't protest. They didn't know me, they assumed I was with Akatsuki. I don't blame them. I have a tattoo of the stupid-ass clous on my right shoulder.

So Konoha thought I was with Akatsuki, and Akatsuki thought Brooklyn was with Konoha. How long until they realize that we're with neither?

After many hours in the cell, the guard, a random shinobo, a chuunin at best, with no name, appeared at thedoor. "You have a visior, girl. Get up."

I sighed and stood, then followed the man out of the cell and down the hall to a metal room. Interrogation time.

In the room stood Ibiki Morino, his height and scarred baldness more intimidating than one would think.

"..hi." I squeaked as I sat down in the chair. He blinked at me.

"Don't act defenseless, woman." He growled, taking the seat across from me. "Who are you?"

I bit my lip. "Ani, from the village hidden in the fuckin' whitetrash."

He slammed his hands on the table. "You're with Akatsuki, now is not the time to be joking."

"I'm not joking, Morino-san. Where I come from, everyone is white trash. Drug dealers, weapons cartel, and prostitutes galore."

"Ah, so you were raised into the family business?" He looked me up and down.

"It's a costume!" I protested, crossing my arms over my chest. Bantering with Ibiki Morino, I can check that off my bucket list. "Listen, I don't know where I am, my friend was kidnapped by Akatsuki-"

"You're with Akatsuki!"

"No I'm not!"

He gave me a pointed look. "You have their mark tattooed on your shoulder."

"I know, but where I come from, they aren't real. None of this is real, okay? You're a cartoon, and Masashi Kishimoto is an evil bastard, and you aren't REAL."

Ibiki sat back. "You're either a liar or you're insane. Inoichi."

The blonde man appeared in a puff of smoke and circled around the table, placing his hands on my shoulders. "This won't hurt, just relax."

I sighed, "this isn't going to work-"

And then there was a white-hot pain in my head. I screamed. I struggled out of Inoichi's grip, and tried to shove away from the ninja, but I'm a weak chakra-less girl, and they're jonin.

Ibiki was gripping my upper arm as I tried to sink to the floor. "What happened?" His voice was gruff and angry. The pain in my head should be the least of my worries.

But as I looked at Inoichi, I realized that he felt the same thing I did.

"Something is blocking me out," Inoichi mumbled, still reeling from the shock. "A barrier, maybe some kind of blockade. A jutsu."

"Can it be reversed?" Ibiki asked.

"I'm not sure. It was most likely placed by an Akatsuki member to keep her from spilling their secrets." Inoichi's voice was cool, calm.

I bit my lip. "My head hurts."

Ibiki's grip on me tightened. "Quiet."

I had an idea, something that would get me back to Brooklyn, and convince the Konoha ninja that I am not affiliated with Akatsuki, as much as I wish I were.

I raised my head and locked eyes with Ibiki.

"No, I demand to speak to the Hokage. If you want any goddamned information on Akatsuki, it goes to Tsunade and Tsunade only."

Inoichi and Ibiki shared a look. "We'll think about it."

And then I was tossed back into my cell. "I'm not a sack of potatoes!" I cried at the guard's back, gripping my head in my hands.

"I'm a goddamn LADY. TREAT ME WITH RESPECT."

 **Hey, guys! Mistress here again! This was a little longer, and we got a look at Brooklyn's mind. She's not feeling guilty about giving away information because she didn't give away anything important. Yes, Itachi knows she isn't real, and when the other Akatsuki find out, there's gonna be hell.**

 **Oh! If you're wondering, or haven't figured it out yet, Ani and Nyl are the last three letters of our names backwards. ㈳2㈳2**

 **So, leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	4. How To Annoy Your Jailers

"It's not unusual to be loved by anyone  
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone  
But when I see you hanging about with anyone  
It's not unusual to see me cry  
Oh I wanna' die...

It's not unusual-"

They essentially left me to fuckin' rot in that cell, and I tell you what, I don't even get anything- not my phone, not any books, just me, the pebbles on the floor, the mouse in the cornet- dubbed Ned, after Buzzfeed Ned, my favorite of the Buzzfeeders- and the ceiling. I occasionally tossed the pebbles at the ceiling and had fun that way, or I tried to get Ned to help me dig a tunnel out of there, but nope. Nothing worked.

So I resorted to singing every song that I knew, just because I knew that I didn't know a lot and eventually I would stumble across a particularly annoying song, such as 'It's Not Unusual' and 'What's New Pussycat?' and maybe a rerun or two of 'Never Gonna Give You Up' just to drive the guard insane. He actually kicked the cell door every time he walked by, which only made me sing louder. They all thought I was crazy, I tell you what. Other prisoners were complaining about my horrible singing voice.

After a while, Ibiki and Inoichi returned to me to yank me out of the cell and drag me up to the Hokage's office.

Let me tell you one thing about Tsunade. I thought that my triple D's were huge, but god damn, Tsunade's tits were fucking HUMONGOUS. She put me to shame, she sure did. Anyways, sitting in front of the busty blonde, I really thought I felt real intimidation. She glared at me with her bangs in her face, her fingers all steepled in front of her chin.

I cleared my throat, "Well, to start things off, Lady Hokage, I wouldn't suggest allowing any harm to come to me, because I know things. Lots of things, and seeing as I'm impartial to the Akatsuki as well as to you lovely Konoha folk... Let's just say that with the proper amount of politeness shown my way, I might show interest in, oh, say, saving all of your goddamned lives."

She slammed her hands down on the desk in front of her, pulling herself to a stand, and breaking the desk in two. I smirked. She growled, "Listen, missy. You don't get to waltz in here and demand special care because you know things, alright? And don't go bullshitting me about being impartial to the Akatsuki. You have their mark on our shoulder- and the way you're dressed... You're nothing but their throwaway slut. You don't know anything."

"That's where you're wrong. If you let me explain myself and sit your heifer ass down, maybe you'll see the picture from my side. Maybe even bring in one of your lazy genius Naras? Maybe your protege, or even the demon boy himself, Naruto? I've been a fan for the past six years of my life."

Tsunade scoffed. "Heifer?"

I chuckled, "Let's get comfy, cause Ani's got a long story. Well, kinda. Not really. Listen, you might think I'm crazy, but here's the deal; I'm only kind of crazy. So where I come from, Earth, the great country of chocolate-covered everything anf bacon deodorant- America, and the state of incest and pig-fuckery, Oklahoma, you guys- all of you- ninja, civilians, villains, even you, Lady Hokage, you're all a part of a tv show. You know what that is? Like the movies? It's entertainment."

"I know what a TV is," she sighed, reaching for something in her gown.

"Okay, well there's a cartoon style called anime, for dorks like myself, and my best friend, who happens to be missing, and any other person who has no life an obsesses over things that aren't real."

She sighs, "are you done yet?"

"Not close. So anyways, this show, it's about a boy, okay, who has a demon sealed inside of him- Naruto Uzumaki. And his adventures on the road to becoming a great ninja, and eventually Hokage. The main villains in the second part of the show are the Akatsuki. Lead by Pein, with 10 members total, I'm a fangirl for the evil types. But you guys aren't real where I'm from, you see? You're all a cartoon. And cartoons aren't suposed to torture people who dedicate 6 years of their miserable lives to memorizing every detail up in their dorky little brains."

She stared at me. Yup, I'm a nut, i'm in a rut. I'm craaaaaaaaaaaazy.

"Okay, so how did I get here? Good question, Tsunade! Well, I don't fucking know. One minute my friend and I were driving down the road, on our way to school, and the next, we're falling. Through the sky. And then we're on the ground and walking, and next thing I know, the Akatsuki are chasing us down, trying to kill us or something. They took Nyl, because they thought she was Sakura Haruno. And I need you to help me get her back. They're going to kill her when they realize who she really is. Er, isn't."

Tsunade's perfectly manicured eyebrow was raised way beyond where it should have been, and it slowly dropped, "You expect me to believe all of that?"

"Okay, you don't trust me. I understand that completely, but listen. How about I tell you something secret? Or, y'know, something that nobody should know? So yeah, I guess, a secret."

Her eyebrow crept up again. I leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear. She pulled back and gripped my shoulders, "How?"

I grinned. "So you gonna help me or not?" I held up my shackled wrists. With a sigh, she broke them off.

"Much obliged, ma'am."

* * *

 **Nyl**

Itachi never came back to see me, that big ol hynk. Instead, I got Hidan. Who tried to sacrifice me. He oh-so politely informed me that even though he couldn't kill me, he would be happy to otherwise maim me should I try anything funny. And also that he would be taking care of me from now on.

After finally feeding me, he led me to a dark room, where a pair of glowing purple eyes showed my soul the very meaning of the word pain. I almost peed myself. Actaully, I did pee myself.

Pein was scary. "Listen, I don't know how I got here, I don't know anything, I just want my friend back, I'm not even who you think I am."

He chuckled, "No, girl, but you have information. That I need."

"And I would be happy to part with that information, if you can get my friend back. That's all I want."

"This is not a negotiation."

I whimpered. "Then kill me."

"Pein-" A woman's voice cut in. Konan, my angel. "If all she wants is her friend back, can you not feel her sorrow? Can you relate to her wish? If you are truly God, then grant her prayer."

"..."

I kept my head down. I said nothing, just sat in my own pee until he finally spoke again. "Send Deidara and Sasori. They should remember the girl that was with the imposter."

"I'm a cosplayer!" I objected, but quieted down afterwards. "She knows just as much as I do. Hopefully Konoha hasn't gotten her to spill the beans before you guys get to her. If you guys get to her."

He called Hidan's name, then I was being dragged back to the cell. Well, I guess it was time to start singing about my Folsom Prison Blues.

Or better yet...

"MY NECK, MY BACK, LICK MY PUSSY AND MY CRACK."

Just to drive my 'guards' crazy.

* * *

 **Ooookay, so lots of things have been happening. Like, oh, I don't know... I'm graduating tomorrow, I'm moving out soon, and I guess I'm expecting a child in October? Wild, wild things.**

 **I never updated this back in October because it was a bad time for me, we had just lost my uncle and inspiration after that was a little tough, but I've found the love of my life, I'm so happy with everything (besides a recent bout of Kidney Infection and being stuck in the hospital with nothing to do but watch Law and Order, ugh)**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy- I also do not own any of the songs briefly mentioned or quoted in this chapter, I do not own an fictional characters used in this story, but I do own a bottle of antibiotics and a bottle of gatorade. That's all. Have a nice day/night/afternoon/morning/evening, Whatever.**

 **~Mistress**


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